Beauty Read online

  I knew the queen only wanted to help herself. She didn’t like it that the guards found my looks appealing and I could tell by the way the she spoke with Edmund she found it unsatisfactory for him to make me smile or laugh.

  “Anna is only doing her job,” Boris replied as he took an ivory pipe from the top of his table. I watched as he popped the wooden match with his thumb and ignited the flame. I stroked my long blonde hair between my hands and smoothed the natural curls around my shoulders while he puffed over and over trying to fire up the tobacco. The cherry aroma filled the already heavy room, and I thought of the many nights Anna came to me smelling of the king. Shuddering at the thought, I closed my eyes. I knew the queen possessed the worst kind of personality—kind in front of others but a heinous beast capable of violent rants and physical harm in private.

  I pulled my eyes from the carpet and my thoughts from Anna. “You believe what you want to believe, your Majesty. I’ll believe what I want to believe.”

  “I just don’t know that what you believe is based in right here—right now.” Boris nodded at his own words and leaned forward in his chair. Staring at me he blinked hard, as if he were sizing me up. After a long pause that I refused to fill, he spoke. “Beauty?”

  I smiled. He’d used my name. “Yes?”

  “Tell me what you want.”

  “I want to leave Rosewood.”

  “And how do you think that can be accomplished? Because you don’t seem to be following my plan for you.”

  I stared past the king and let my mind go to my special place. Little did he know, I had a plan of my own and it didn’t involve him or Rosewood. Memorizing every hall, staircase and detail of the palace and surrounding gardens, I’d drawn each peculiarity of the kingdom on paper and hidden it in the wall of my chambers. When the time was right, I would leave and never look back. In the meantime, I knew I needed to stay in line and not draw attention to myself. “I’ll do the work. I’ll serve my time in your kingdom and then hopefully you will find it in your good graces to release me back to my own, your Highness.”

  Boris nodded his head slowly. “Okay then, Beauty. That’s all for today.”

  I stood, anxious to leave the stuffy quarters and get some fresh air. I knew for a fact if I smiled at Edmund, who was surely standing on the other side of the door waiting, I could talk him into at least an hour of free time on the palace grounds.

  “Just remember,” the king said with a smirk. “You only need to prove yourself worthy to be released from Rosewood. Deep down you know that.”

  I had no idea how to please the king—that’s what I knew. As I shut the heavy door behind me, I stumbled into Edmund, who wasn’t paying attention.

  “Please excuse me, Edmund,” I said as I clutched his muscular arm in my hand, trying to regain my balance.

  “Sorry.” He took a step back and helped me to my feet. His strength made me feel safe and I liked it. I liked it a lot. “I didn’t hear–” Edmund paused as our faces were only a whisper apart. He brought his voice down to a murmur. “I didn’t hear you come out.”

  I nodded, embarrassed. Not that I’d tripped and fallen into his arms, but that I’d taken my time righting myself. I liked the way Edmund’s arms felt around me and I wasn’t anxious to leave them. I looked to my feet only to catch his gaze again as I brushed the hair from my eyes. “Edmund?”

  “Yes,” he replied as he held his arm out for me to walk ahead of him.

  “Might I go outside for a little time on the palace grounds?” I turned on my heels with a smile. “Just for a little while? The roses are blooming. I know this because I could see them from my window just this morning.”

  Edmund stopped and scratched his head. “You know it’s not your day.”

  “I know. It’s just that it’s rained so much in the past few days and I missed my day. And I love the flowers.”

  I watched him mull the idea over in his head and I took the opportunity to beg. “Please?”

  Edmund broke into a grin. “Fine.”

  “Yes?” I knitted my shoulders around my neck placing my fisted hands in front of my mouth with excitement.

  “Yes.”

  Edmund pointed to the door that led to the thirty-three stairs I knew all too well. I’d thought about them, dreamed about them and knew their every nuance. It was my stairway to freedom.

  The white stones showed wear in the center of each graduated block that lead to the outside. I counted them in my head as I always did. Searching for the handrail, I closed my eyes and made the turn at step number fourteen. I did this each time I went up or down. I wanted to be sure-footed enough to navigate in the dark.

  Rays of light shot through the door as Edmund opened it wide and held it for me. I squinted at the brightness of the spring day and instantly tilted my head to the sky, closing my eyes and drinking in the warmth of the sunshine.

  “Oh thank you, Edmund,” I whispered as I breathed in the fresh air.

  “Thirty minutes. After that we could both get into trouble.”

  I nodded without looking back and began to walk to the wall of climbing red roses along the stone barricade that enclosed the palace grounds.

  I clasped my hands behind my back, closed my eyes and tilted my chin in the air breathing in the light fragrance of the blooms. I felt the warmth of another body behind me and spoke without turning. “Yes, Edmund?”

  “Would you like a rose?”

  I stared at the red flowers that laced the high wall and replied, “That would be lovely.”

  I wandered away, leaving Edmund alone to discreetly cut a flower from the tangled thorns. As I walked to another corner of the grounds, I found a marble bench and took a seat. The normally frigid stone had been warmed by the sun and felt cozy to my cold body.

  I gazed away from the castle and out into all that lay beyond the kingdom of Rosewood. “Soon,” I whispered aloud. “Soon.”

  Without a word, Edmund dropped the rose he’d cut for me onto the bench and promptly stood in front of me. I picked it up and held its fresh perfume to my nose and breathed deeply. It was the small pleasantries of life they couldn’t take away from me that I now treasured.

  “Miss…”

  “Beauty.”

  “Beauty,” Edmund began. “I want to talk with you. You’re very interesting to me. You’re not like the others.”

  “The others?”

  “The other pa—the other people here.”

  I pulled my face from the sun, cupping my hand at my brow to shield the light and see his face fully. “I don’t belong here.”

  He began to pace back and forth in from of me. “Well, that remains to be seen. I’ve been away at—well I’ve been away. I’d like to look deeper into your case–”

  “My captivity here?”

  “Well, yes. If you don’t belong here, I want to do my best to change that for you.”

  I swallowed hard. Was this prince, my prince? Was he the one I’d been waiting for to rescue me? I didn’t want to seem presumptuous and merely looked away, trying my best to be coy. Trying my best to be beautiful—charming.

  “Why the red string, Beauty?” he asked.

  I twirled my finger through the cord. “It was something I pulled from my mother’s coat the day they said goodbye to me. It’s my connection with the deep waters of my old life. I think life is connected—each part separate, but together.”

  “How do you mean?”

  “We’re like rivers. The surface shows clear water teeming with life and sparkle, what we can see on the top. But deep below runs the powerful unseen currents of who we really are—who we’ve been.” I looked to my feet, embarrassed that I’d said so much. “At least that’s what I think.”

  Edmund nodded and I smiled at him. Bringing the rose to my face, I inhaled the fragrance and suddenly became overwhelmed with a feeling of pure excitement. Falling to the ground, it was as if I could feel the pulse of the very earth beneath me. Time stopped. There was nothing I could do. I turned t
o Edmund as a bright light filled my eyes. And then the darkness came.

  I could hear the voices around me as I struggled to focus. Edmund’s face came into view and I realized my eyes were open. I blinked hard as a hazy figure came to my side and suddenly smelled cherry. Even in my fog I knew exactly who it was.

  Edmund whispered in my ear. “Come back.”

  “How did she get out here?” the queen demanded.

  “She requested few moments of fresh air and I obliged her,” Edmund said as Anna hastily jerked at my body on the grassy lawn.

  “No one gave you permission to do that,” she bellowed. “It isn’t her day.”

  “Excuse me, but with all due respect, don’t tell me what I can and cannot do.”

  I rocked my head to the side and tried to regain my physical as well as mental fortitude. I had no idea how much time had passed. “It isn’t his fault,” I whispered through the dryness of my throat. “I wasn’t feeling well and just wanted to–.”

  “No matter the reason,” Anna said as she pulled my body from the ground and thrust it upon Edmund to shoulder. “Get her inside. Now.”

  I placed my heavy arms around his neck doing my best to balance myself. I didn’t want to show any sign of weakness. “I feel fine,” I said with a reassuring tone. “I just…”

  “Don’t speak.” Edmund breathed the words in my ear as he dragged my limp body plastered at his hip through the doors of the castle.

  I pulled my head from his chest to find Solomon, a guard to the king, standing in the doorway. The look on his face told me everything I needed to know. I was going to be punished.

  “How did she get out?” asked Solomon.

  Edmund said nothing, but continued to drag me along side him and up the stairs.

  “Twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three…”

  “What are you doing?” Edmund asked looking behind him surely checking that Solomon had gone on his way.

  “I’m counting.”

  “Why?”

  I looked him in the face. I was feeling more like myself again and eased away from his embrace to prove I could stand on my own. “It’s just something I do,” I said as I climbed the last step and made the turn to my quarters.

  I walked the hallway unattended knowing Edmund was not far behind. Opening the door to my chambers, I gave him a nod and the tiniest of smiles before shutting it behind me. Feeling guilty, I hurried to retrieve my drawings and papers from under the bed. Each time I had an episode or a dream, I made sure I documented it—the feelings, how it happened and what I remembered.

  I sat in the chair at my writing desk, and felt a stabbing twinge in my leg. Reaching for the cause, I pulled back my finger in pain. One tiny thorn pricked my pinky and drew a droplet of blood. I smiled as I rescued the red rose Edmund had hidden in the pocket of my dress.

  Hurrying to my bed to find the letter from earlier, I read the words I’d written. “How old is this?”

  Shaking my head, I turned the paper over and sat at my table and began to sketch the flower. With each stroke of my short pencil against the parchment I found myself slipping away into a world no one at Rosewood could touch—the world inside my mind.

  2

  BEAUTY

  I woke with a start. I could hear shouting outside my window and the dawn of the new morning in Rosewood was occurring a little earlier than usual.

  “I’ll take you all on!”

  Throwing the covers from my bed, I rushed to the stone window that looked over the front of the castle and onto the lawn still bathed in the blues of the early dawn. I strained to follow the ruckus below as it moved from the carriage where a girl was being taken to the front door.

  “Unhand me!” she shouted, as I leaned further into the wrought iron, pressing my face against the bars to get a better view.

  The young girl dropped her head back and stared up and into my window. Suddenly, she stopped fighting. She ceased to shout.

  I brushed the hair from my face and couldn’t help but smile. She’d seen me and in some way, it had soothed her demeanor. I waved to her, but with one snatch of her thin arm, she was rushed into the castle.

  I dropped my head and thought of the day I was brought to Rosewood. Through tears and screams of panic and fear, I’d reached for the safety of my mother and father as they watched from afar. I shook my head, and banished the thought from my mind. Someday I would know the reason.

  I turned to find my drawings still on the table from the night before. Quickly, I folded them and tucked them under the mattress before straightening my bed.

  Without warning or so much as a knock, the door to my quarters swung wide.

  “Get up!” Anna shouted.

  My shoulders flinched, startled by the early morning visit as the queen rushed into the room.

  “What is it?”

  She roamed my chamber in deliberate steps—searching. “Get dressed,” she finally said.

  “Does the king want to see me?”

  Anna shook her head at me in disgust and narrowed her gaze. It was clear she loathed me. “Do as I say,” she hissed.

  With that, she slammed the door and was gone. I let out all the air I’d been holding in as I sat on the very corner of the bed that held my papers.

  Dressing hastily, I chose a long white dress that had become too large for my shrinking frame. I searched the top of the armoire for my robe. A matching white, I’d worn it the day I was brought to Rosewood—it was how I brought my mirror with me, hiding it deep within the front pocket.

  When my mother and father left me, they explained that someday I could leave the castle. It reminded me of the story my mother always read to me—the gallant prince who rescued the princess held captive high in the tower. I still remember telling her upon our arrival at Rosewood that it was just like the castle in the story.

  “One day,” she’d said with tears in her eyes. “Someone will be able to help you.”

  “Like a knight in shining armor?” I’d asked.

  She nodded. I don’t remember much after that, except that my father wouldn’t look at me to say goodbye, making only the small gesture with his hand he always used when trying to hurry my mother and I along.

  I held the soft fabric of the robe close to my face and breathed in the dampness from my chamber. It wasn’t perfect, but it was the one thing I held onto from my own kingdom.

  For some reason, the queen hadn’t minded that I’d kept it but I only wore it on days when I longed for my home so much it was physically painful. After the spell yesterday and the queen’s abrupt entrance this morning, this was definitely one of those days.

  Clasping the robe at the nape of my neck, I turned in a circle and watched it drag the ground behind me. I smiled as I fingered the small pink flowers that adorned the edges and sat briefly at my writing table to brush the sleepy tangles from my hair.

  Before I barely had a chance to catch my breath, another knock came at my door.

  “Yes?”

  “Are you ready?”

  I recognized Zara’s voice at once and quickly rose from my seat to open the door. “Ready for what?” I asked as I stared into the dark eyes of my friend and fellow captive.

  “Come with me.”

  Zara took me by the hand and led me down the empty hallway. “Anna is on a rampage this morning.”

  I nodded as Zara dragged us both down the hallway. “What does that have to do with me?”

  “Nothing,” Zara replied as she shook her head. “But it’s better if we stay out of her way. I guess we have a new girl. She came in this morning.”

  “Yes,” I replied as I thought back to the blue eyes that looked right through me from below my window.

  “Did you see her?” Zara asked.

  I nodded again as I followed her into a small closet and watched her close the door. “We’ll be safe in here.”

  I’d met Zara a few days after coming to Rosewood. She was short and stout with dark hair, eyes and skin and seemed to act more li
ke a man than a girl. I thought Zara’s outward appearance was an indicator of her inward personality. She was dark—very dark. And although Zara was congenial in an interesting sort of way, I didn’t always trust her. Zara lied. Zara lied to everyone.

  “Move over!”

  The shout came as the closet door opened and Christine joined us in the floor amongst the brooms. They were the only friends I had at Rosewood—at least until Edmund showed up.

  Taking me by the hands, Zara pushed us all down in the small space as we faced each other and closed ourselves off to the world on the other side of the door.

  “Now,” Zara began as she shoved her short, boyish haircut behind her ears. “Tell me about the girl.”

  “Why?”

  “Because, I said so. That’s why.” Zara was bossy and even though I still hadn’t gotten used to being pushed around, I would usually succumb to her interrogations. “What did she look like?”

  “What did who look like?” Christine always had a baby doll clutched under her arm and acted as if she’d never escaped childhood. It was endearing and strange to me, but her kind heart and sweet disposition made me like her very much even though it was sometimes hard to understand her. Christine slurred her words when she spoke. It was annoying to Zara, but then again everything was annoying to Zara.

  “Another girl, dummy,” Zara replied. “Go on, Beauty.”

  I thought back to what I saw through the bars of my window and smiled. “Tall, dark and pretty.”

  “You can’t say that,” Zara protested. “You can’t say she’s tall, dark and pretty. You’re being too general. What did she really look like?”

  “She’s pretty?” Christine asked, her eyes wide. Christine always wanted details, but not just any detail. Christine wanted the kind of details that no one else would notice. “Was she wearing a necklace? A bracelet like your red one?”

  “Who cares Christine? Just sit there and shut up,” Zara said. Her callous words made my stomach hurt.

  I shook my head and closed my eyes as I tried to remember the details of the girl who fought her way into the castle “She looked like us. She looked like a princess.”